Medical Magic: 7 Reasons Anesthesiologists are Modern Witches
I'm Just a Good Witch in Scrubs Mixing Potions
I keep seeing witchy-inspired Instagram and TikTok posts with crystals, cauldrons, and flower crowns. As someone who grew up on Bewitched, Morticia Addams, The Craft, and The Worst Witch, I love the embrace of witchy culture that’s not limited to hateful tropes of wise women as scary hags.
However, I can’t help noticing the flowy magic aesthetic and crystal meditations are missing an opportunity to see the kind of modern Good Witch vibes I offer as an anesthesiologist.
What if modern-day witches are wearing scrubs and mixing potions in operating rooms?
Our care is so cool, it often looks like magic.
The Modern Witchcraft of Anesthesiology
Here are 7 reasons why I believe anesthesiologists are Good Witches.
Creative Witchcraft
Just like the traditional witches, who understood botany and used plants to mix cures, we're always seeking out new knowledge and techniques to improve our craft. We attend conferences, read medical journals, and exchange tips and tricks with our fellow practitioners.
It's a never-ending quest for the perfect brew, the most potent potion, and the ultimate dreamy spell (with the least side effects).
Magic Gasses
Nitrous oxide, sevoflurane, and isoflurane whisk patients away to a dreamland. Need a funny spell? Nitrous oxide is colloquially known as “laughing gas” - just a few breaths and almost any joke will become funnier.
When our magic gasses wear off and patients wake up, *poof* their surgery is over!
Modern Apothecary
With our advanced pharmacological knowledge, we are the apothecaries of the medical world, concocting the perfect blends to treat diseases and conditions.
We mix potions that can make our patients’ pain disappear, diminish their anxiety, take away nausea, make them unconscious for an otherwise painful procedure, and wake them up safely.
Magic Words
We use magic words to comfort patients’ fears and worries. We often meet our patients with only a few minutes to get to know each other and build trust.
Our “talkesthesia” is so effective we only need a few minutes to do some really magical communication.
Ritual Lancing
We don’t use ritual knives (we leave that to surgeons), but we wield needles and syringes with precision and determination. We can take a patient’s blood, examine it, and understand their physiology - and manipulate our care to balance their humours.
Witchy Attention
Every time we cast a spell and administer a potion, we're monitoring our patients' vital signs, making sure they're safe and sound. We’re ready to respond to any unexpected twists and turns in a procedure.
Superstitious
We are hella superstitious about bad things that might happen. We meticulously prepare for emergencies. We have backup plans for our backup plans, just like a wise witch would always have a spare potion or two tucked away in her cauldron.
Have I ever waived a syringe of epinephrine over a patient to ward off dangerous vibes? Yes, yes I have.
So, if you find yourself under the care of an anesthesiologist, don't be afraid. We're just modern-day witches, using our powers for good.
With a little bit of our magic, you’ll wake up safe and sound, having slept through a scary surgery or procedure.
